Restart

I've read lots and lots of weight loss blogs, cooking blogs, get healthy blogs. Have lots of favorites and people that I admire who have changed their lives. As for me, I've been pretty private with my ongoing battle with my weight. I've been dieting as long as I can remember, probably since I was about 10 years old, and I'm 34 now. The most recent success and subsequent ginormous failure started in 2003. I joined WW at 282 pounds.... the heaviest that I had ever been. I was tired of being tired, tired of feeling less than deserving of good things, tired of being my own harshest critic. I was successful, in theory, on this journey. Over the course of two years, I lost 80 some pounds, getting down at one point to 199, and a size 14. Then, life got in the way, and I lost my death grip on my carefully contrived routine of food and exercise. I met my future husband, had major surgery, struggled with some clinical depression, got married.... all in the course of a couple of years.

Now I'm sitting at 260, with some hard lessons learned:
1. I didn't have the weight thing beat as I thought I did. What I had was a routine, the diet and exercise routine that took up so much of my mind share that I couldn't fit in anything else.
2. I need to fix my relationship with food, not adopt another diet.
3. I need to take care of myself, and taking care of everyone else is not an excuse... all that ignoring me got me was total unhappiness with my body.
4. The people I take care of will benefit from me being healthy. I will be happier, have more energy and be a positive influence in their lives.

So, here we go. I've gone back to the gym, started last Friday. I'm working slowly into the food thing.... still not sure if I want to go back to counting, WW style, or SouthBeach, or... I might end up with a hybrid. My plan.

This blog is for me, to keep me accountable. As corny as it sounds, this is a new day. It has to be.